DAY 168: 18 Minutes & 10 Seconds of Gazing

Sandy orange CT sunrise
Brian Hogan

My horoscope today says the sun enters my sign for a month tonight and it’s going to be a personal power period for me. Well, I’ll tell ya, I like the sound of that. I keep having this feeling that my prosperity is right around the corner, and I am starting to realize that is precisely why it always feels like my prosperity is right around the corner. The sun has awakened desires in me for certain specifics in my life: a paid writing career, my own TV show, book tours, a lake house, a large and harmonious family, etc. I finally believe I deserve those things and can achieve those things. So I have been working toward those goals and making progress. But as time goes by and reversals occur (like my unbearably slow month of August at the pot collective) my enthusiasm begins to wain and I become disgruntled, wondering when then hell my abundance is finally going to come. As Eckhart Tolle says in A New Earth abundance and lack are inner states of being that manifest as outward reality. I realize now that what started out as enthusiastic visualization became unsatisfied yearning inside me. I want the lake house now. I want more money now. I don’t have enough yet. This shift is a subtle one because I am shifting from a healthy desire or wish to which I am unattached but is fuel for my imagination to an unhealthy desire to which I am attached and if and when it doesn’t come to pass on my time table I allow it to rattle me, to interfere with my inner peace, and so, as the universe continues to deliver it’s unwavering support for my energetic beliefs, I begin to experience lack, so I can be supported in the feeling of “desperate yearning” I’ve been putting out there. The Great Whatever gives what my energy field says I want, every time. Well, that part is a comfort at least. Now, how to master my energy field so I can get what I really want. 

The truth is that abundance is all around me now. I have a warm bed, a full refrigerator, my own business, my own blog, a team of employees to help me out, a new niece, a loving family and good friends. So what the fuck is my problem then? I have dreams, and I have not mastered the art of containing those dreams, nurturing them and bringing some version of them to reality without becoming attached to them. Once I attach, I strangle them, and they cannot come to pass. As the channeled Alien Entity Bashar says “we must follow the path of our highest excitement without holding onto any expectation of how it will turn out,” which I take to mean, without becoming attached to results. This is a delicate path to walk in ones mind, but I am beginning to realize it is the magical path, the path of mastery, of divinity, of being able to truly and miraculously manifest one’s own reality. Jesus took two fish and one loaf of bread and managed to feed throngs of people. How? Because his desire was pure, he was not attached to it, and he exercised faith. With faith, focus and an inner state that is already peaceful, we too can develop these types of super powers, and we too can effect our environment for thousands of years to come. But the main pre-requisite: we have to know it’s possible first. That part, I’ve finally got down. 

Every time I meditate I experience some positive result. Every time I sun-gaze I come away feeling deeper and more in touch with who I am. The methods of mastering this kind of magic all seems so complicated because in our current culture it’s a zany foo foo position to take, that you and life are both alive and can interact. But once you embrace this truth, the path toward further enlightenment becomes simple: meditate, stay centered, don’t forget who you are. It’s not easy, because our culture tries to pull us back down into the unconscious state that has become normal in our times, but it is simple. A little discipline, devotion and practice. Huh? Seems like the way to advance spiritually is the same way to advance at anything else. Practice makes perfect. 

SIDE EFFECTS: I become more and more aware of mental and internal blockages, which are not fun things to realize. 

BENEFITS: Once you are aware of these mental and internal limits, they cease to become limits and instead become opportunities to grow. And that part is pretty damn cool. 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.




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