When I am aligned with my higher self I am non-verbal.
I am uncontainable by language
I am enough
I am complete
I am perfection
I am realized realization realizing itself newly for the first time in just this exact way at this exact time
I am a prism, crystalline awareness, flawless,
Hard as diamond and malleable as marshmallow fluff
I am present
I am flowing, exuberant. Enthusiastic or not, and if not, I’m gentle about it, full of grace and understanding.
I am okay
I am full
I am well
I am better than well
When I am aligned with my higher self I am surrendered
Adding what little skill I can as I lean into the wind and thunderous rain
A race car driver in a race car twisting around in a tornado
At some point you just have to let go, let the seatbelt fulfill its destiny doing what it was designed to do, letting the tornado do what it was designed to do…and knowing that if I survive this state of surrender, or die and am resurrected anew I am, from that moment forward going to do, fearlessly, what I have been designed to do…
Now where did I put those design plans again?
I wonder if I truly aligned with my higher self if I’m after anything anymore. Perhaps when I’m fully aligned I’ll have traded in seeking for finding, asking for receiving and knocking for invitations to enter. Perhaps when it feels internally like any door to any opportunity can fling open at anytime with a kindly little knock then outer reality will reflect this expansiveness. And paradoxically, I will be expanded internally by then and the need for outer reality to change to match will no longer exist, though this mirror reality in which we live and move and have our being will shift anyway. It will have to.
I am learning to master the art of desire…so desire gives me pleasure instead of pain, a sense of hope instead of overwhelm, a sense of possibility where there used to be unworthiness. So wishes don’t become burdens and the inner judge doesn’t use my dreams like daggers.
Mastering the art of how to desire, without burning to death in the raging fire is the task to which I now aspire.
Buddha, I’m going to nirvana and beyond….if that’s not too presumptuous.