If I Started Aging Backwards My New Goals Would Be…

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Brian Hogan

If I started aging backwards my new goals would be hard to pin down. 

Would I be the subject of a media frenzy because I’m the first real life Benjamin Button? Or is this a world where aging backwards is a thing sometimes, so there’s no media outcry, but just an existential dilemma about my trajectory.  

If I am aging backwards would I suddenly start to become less skilled with practice?
Or would I be more skilled still, but younger.  

When I got young enough would I start to lose my hand/eye coordination? Would I start to shrink? Would I need to be changed and taken care of again. And possibly have someone crush up my food as my teeth recede. 

Come to think of it, I’m not sure getting younger before you die is any different than getting older.  From age 10 down to zero you need a babysitter again, just like some folks in their last decades of life.  

I’d get a re-do of my twenties, and be sober more. And I’d most definitely have way way way more sex. Sue me, but it’s true.  I’m gay so I can’t accidentally make any humans so I’d stick it in more places. I just would. I’d take being a horny teenager seriously this time, and get laid, like alot. I’d waste no time in the closet. I’d be out and proud all the way until I was back in diapers.  

I’d second guess a lot less and give second chances a lot more. 

I want to say I’d enjoy the shit out of those 80’s movies again, but now I think I’m confusing aging backwards with going backward in time. 

I’d spend more time having fun as my body became more youthful and vibrant …

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.




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