Broken Lives

broken windshield
Brian Hogan

Are there parts of my life that feel totally broken? 

Things I can’t swallow, or things that I’m chokin’ 

down to my stomach like mom’ soggy spinach 

That make me wish 2020 would vanish? 

When I think of my dreams, many unspoken

Or my successes that seem like merely a token

I am pressed down by their sheer magnitude 

And fear an awakening that’s brutally rude 

What if my dreams vanish the moment I’ve woken 

Never to manifest, like a warm bath I could soak in

Instead they just taunt me, escaping my grip 

And the cold dirty tub water is the water I now sip 

Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t a dreamer

That my ambition was less, so I could finally relax

Instead Im racing so hard I could break my femur 

Which would keep me in the red and out of the blacks

I am broken mostly in invisible places 

Like my heart and my soul and just stuff like that 

So it’s hard for the repair man to know how to fix me

Because the instructions are in Spanish and, I think, for a cat. 

Without the instructions I have no choice but to be

Just who I am, without hope for an elsewhere

And I think that’s my ticket to finally become free 

That I’m slowing to stillness, in this one hell of a year. 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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