What Is The Meaning Of This?

cloud shaped like question mark
Brian Hogan

WRITING PROMPT: Everything you write must be a question, in the form of a question, or a request.

What have I always wondered about? Do I want to know about the nature of reality? Or the secret meaning of life? Is there even a secret meaning or is there really just vast impersonal permission to do whatever I want save for the obtrusive intervention of government and other people? 

If there was a secret meaning, and it was for some god-forsaken reason shared with me, would I be able to understand it? Know how to implement it? 

What would be my responsibility then? Would I be required to share it? Or live by it? Would it change my purpose, knowing this meaningful secret to life? 

What if there is no secret meaning? What if there is no meaning really other than meanings I decide about with the brain and the cocktail of chemicals mixing around in there? And did I even decide which chemicals would be produced? Did I decide which synapses would fire together? Or are those things just happening in an invisible but inescapable chain of cause and effect and they are deciding me? Is the idea of decision at all a total illusion?

Is free will an ego-centric mind delusion and I’m just a coincidental collision of molecules that happens to be able to ask complex questions? But are they meaningful questions? Do these questions matter? And who decides if they matter? Certainly I’m not the decider, am I? 

In some Hindu culture they claim we are all God, don’t they? And in Yoga they say the divine inside each of us is made of the same shit, right? So is it possible I am both the decider and the decision? Is it possible the idea of decision and decider as separate entities is the delusion, like the idea of a flower being able to thrive without a bee? We see the bee and the flower as separate entities, but are they?  Or do the bee and the flower arise together, intrinsically linked, an eternal response to each other? Is it like that with us, the decider and the decisions we are making? 

What do I do now with all this new wondering that seems to have me floundering? Does all this pondering just keep my mind thundering; drawing me savagely nearer to blundering or gently closer to surrendering? 

What do you think? 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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