DAY 1: 10 Seconds of Gazing

early morning sun
Brian Hogan

The gazing finally begins. Brett and I raced to the top of the canyon again this morning but I was feeling more settled and at peace because we knew exactly where to park and exactly where to stand due to our dress rehearsal during our dry run two days ago. The sun was set to rise at 6:31am, which means at our vantage point from the top of the canyon its approximately 6:43 when the sun peeks over to say hello. We were running a little behind schedule so we parked quickly and started at a pace to our spot, it was already 6:48 and I didn’t want to stare at a white hot ball again like we did during our prep day yesterday. Our friend and neighbor Nikki heard about our experiment and decided to join in as well. She met us at the top just as we were heading down the path and by this time the sun was fully awake and hanging low in the sky on the brighter side of yellow. So we decided to forget heading down the path and just dug our bare feet into a patch of soil at the edge of the parking lot where we could see the fiery eye just fine. I took out my timer, and when each of the gazers said they were ready I hit start, said go, and we began the ten seconds of gazing. 

As one might expect it was over it a flash, I mean it was so quick it felt like it was all of ten seconds long. When it was finished there were tears in my eyes and a pressure and a warmth in my forehead. But I felt giddy. We all did. We excitedly gabbed about our experiences like school girls talking about the new hot boy in gym class as we made our way back to our cars. Or I guess I should say school boys too, because who am I kidding, any hot guy that walked into my gym class made me want to giggle with excitement when I was in high school. If it wasn’t for the heavy oak closet door I was hiding behind, I would have gossiped with the giddy girls every chance I could. The pressure in my face wasn’t unpleasant at all this time, it was merely a fact of the gaze’s aftermath, harmless but noticeable, like the lingering sent of perfume hanging in the air long after the lady wearing it has disappeared into the night. 

I don’t know if the giddiness I have felt after all three of my gazing sessions so far (Day One and the two dress rehearsals this weekend) is an instant and immediate effect of the sungazing itself or if it’s the sweet taste of accomplishment and pride for having made it to the top of the canyon at the ass crack of dawn and honoring the commitment I made to myself. Time will tell. For now I will just enjoy the giddiness for what it is, a splendid mood that seems to be carrying me through my days and landing me gently on my pillow the last three nights. 

There has been no change in my eating habits. As I type this I just finished up a tomato and mozzarella panini and I’m nursing an iced chai tea latte. I love food and I particularly love junk food. But I also love being in great shape. If the gazing can take some of my more destructive appetites away, I am all for it. I’ve been reading a book this week called “The Earth Was Flat: Insight into the Ancient Practice of Sungazing” and in it author Mason Howe Dwinell says that according to his research the sunlight, when taken in through the eyes, can not only diminish one’s need for food, but it can actually tighten up muscles and melt fat cells away. As I read that I was hit with a rush of joy because, holy shit, I can just stand there and stare, and my stomach tire is just going to melt away! I’ve struck gold. But then I started to think I had heard something like this before. But where? Oh yeah, on every infomercial for every slim fast shake or diet wonder pill out there that makes the same basic claim: go ahead and eat crap and do nothing, but as long as you take this pill or drink this proprietary blend you will have the body you want in no time at all. I felt deflated. On the one hand, these claims of fat melting away seemed preposterous. But on the other hand I was up here staring at the sun to see if I can miraculously heal my gums and gain the ability to read minds. So if I’m willing to make the trek up to the top of the canyon every morning to pursue miracle healing and super powers it started to seem a little absurd to doubt that the sun might work on my physique better than weight watchers would. I don’t know if the sun can change my body like that, but I am definitely interested in finding out. So the experiment goes on. 

I realize it is my doubt in this process that made me want to embark on this quest to begin with; but it is my faith in the process that motivates me to drag my ass up to the top of the canyon every morning to do what we have all been repeatedly warned not to do: to open my eyes wide and stare directly into the sun. I never was very good at doing what I was told. 

SIDE EFFECTS: I felt the skull pressure again, but less intense than during the dry run. 

BENEFITS: There is a giddiness that comes out of nowhere and seems to last all day long. 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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