Passing Understanding, Finding Peace

brass bowl
Brian Hogan

When asked to contemplate my special place 

My first reaction is to go external 

To pick my hammock or my reading corner

Where I curl up with my leather bound journal 

But that first reaction is not my true instinct 

For that instinct has been covered by culture 

Re-programmed and repeated to, 

A media messaging kind of water torture 

My special place is some place internal 

A well-spring in my stormy center 

I can’t pick the spot where it lives in my body 

But I don’t care where it is, as long as I can re-enter 

This special spot feels peaceful, but mischievous, like an elf during an apocalypse because all he knows how to see are blessings

Even in the murderous nuclear fireworks 

It is like a guarded secret you want everyone to know

But it doesn’t matter who you tell or who you show

Because it can’t be related through words and ideas 

It must be experienced like a burn on the hand

The blister that forms is the roadmap back  to my special place 

The throbbing, a reminder of my sobbing 

As I lay down in that energetic meadow and breathe in the grace 

And forgo the chase

and slow my pace

and learn how to taste

The subtlety of inner peace having nothing to do with outer experience, but being a visceral experience all its own, 

And tasting like freedom, like magic and like flying 

If flying tasted like mozzarella frying 

I may lose track here as I try to tie this up with words 

To bind the experience of my inner place with rope sentences and glue,

But a boundless place won’t be bound

Won’t be captured

Won’t be explained or mansplained 

So my metaphors have kind of hydroplaned 

Because trying to describe the indescribable is getting in the car knowing you’re headed for a crash. 

But you get in and go along for the ride because you know now of surrender

And that a fender bender is not some ender because life is much more tender than I normally care to remember. 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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