I’m the Main Character and I’m Comfortable with that.

theature curtain, tan
Brian Hogan

WRITING PROMPT: Write about a moment the main character feels awkward, out of place or uncomfortable.

You are the main character of your life. And I am the main character of mine. Even if you are a wounded people pleasing kiss ass like me who feels very comfortable in the sidekick role you are the main character nonetheless. It just happens to be in a show where the main character is a wounded people pleasing kiss ass, but he, she or they is still the lead. The starring role. Inside the world of a world-class sidekick. 

Now that we’ve established who the main character is. Yes we have established it, for you it’s you and for me it’s me, couldn’t be clearer. So it’s  firmly established. You and/or me is the main character. Or whoever else too, from their perspective. 

So, now, as the main character I wrack my brain for an out of place, awkward and uncomfortable moment. The flood gates open and I find myself instead in a sea of out of place moments, bopped around by the awkwardness and overwhelmingly uncomfortable, searching around for a  moment I felt in place, a buoy in the storm where I felt comfortable, and like a good fit. That’s the unicorn. The moments of belonging, like precious gems hidden in the rock cliffs of a life lived on the edge of comfort, sometimes over that edge, always edgy. 

The moments of belonging don’t seem to belong to me. Instead I belong to them, owned by them, covered, protected, nurtured by them. I don’t just belong, I am absorbed, enveloped by an energetic acceptance that comes only when I allow it, for it never stops pushing its way toward me except for my refusal to allow it. I am actually in a sea of belonging, but my emotions tell me I am out to sea, that I cannot see, that the only grade I’ll get is a C, or god forbid a C-, the polite nod of pathetic pity from a teacher who didn’t have the heart to fail you. 

Well, failure is just feedback in the land of those who accept themselves. And a C- is a badge of honor for those who eschew social status for self-exploration. And a moment of feeling out of place is the realization of a lifetime lived out of sync. And that, my good friends, ends right this very moment.  

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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