My Morning Inner Narrative

man laying in field under moon
Brian Hogan

I’m too tired to chant today. 

But it makes you feel better

Yea but you taught a night class, and sleep makes you feel better. 

Just chant

Its fine if you don’t chant. Well either way you’re not going to feel guilty, that’s just a waste. You’ve evolved past guilt. 

Evolution doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilt. 

*knots rising in my stomach

Aw fuck, I should just chant. 

But it’s five minuets past the time I’d normally chant. 

What if you just skipped it, and the calistenics, and the morning swim. The first thing you really HAVE to do is your client at 8:00. That’s a good three hour chunk of rest. 

Where’s my vape pen

I have to pee. I don’t want to move

I should just chant. I’m so dumb for not chanting. This could wreck my whole day.
I’m not going to let this wreck my day. If I’m skipping then I need to deeply luxuriate in this restful repose. 

You’re a total waste with no discipline

Harsh. Wow. I stilll really have to pee. 

What is my problem? Why don’t I want to get up today?

I am a go getter. 

Get up

Get the fuck up. 

*pees in a empty water bottle next to his bed. 

I wish I was the kind of person who chanted and had abs.
I want to get off sugar.
Be patient with yourself you just gave up caffeine 

*pulls cover over his head falls back to sleep 

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About Brian

About Brian

Brian is a Writer, Clarity Coach, Filmmaker and Adjunct Professor who loves teaching and learning, and living in the uncertainty of it all.

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